Her.

Many years
Since I was old enough
To be proud of my
Supposed
Intelligence
I never thought I’d need anything more

It seemed to be my essence
What made up who I am

..not many figure that one out within their lifetime.

But then came the teenage years
Where one discovered interests in others

I thought I’d be alright
Me and my intelligence
That I would find a
Modest
Sincere partner
Who wouldn’t compare me..

..with her.

I don’t know what overcame me
When she started appearing in my classes

She was simplistic
Gorgeous
Funny

Intriguing in the least.

I sank into the background
Watching him speak to her
Smile
Laugh with her

Jealousy began to mount within every fibre of my being

I didn’t know why
I didn’t care much for him
But I knew I’d never get a chance
With anyone who’d met her
Had the opportunity to speak to her
Or even anyone like her

The louder of the female world
The more so confident seeds of every other woman’s jealousy
Some are actually intelligent
They are tolerable
And because of their confidence
Their in-your-face nature
They are noticed.



You see my conversations go like this..





..they don’t go at all.


At least not in the interesting sense.


I try
I try very hard
I’m not random
Not spontaneous
Not intriguing
Nor funny
Not even attractive in the least..

Nowadays I depend on my capacity to care

Where I give you my all..

The one thing I have left
The aspect of who I am
That one only finds out if they give me a chance
If they glance more than once
If they understand my silence


But even that
Can only get me so far..

..she does the rest.